Self-control plays a central role in the paradox of freedom and its connection to happiness. While freedom offers the opportunity to make choices and pursue desires, it is the exercise of self-control that ultimately leads to lasting happiness.

Let’s begin. For a fulfilling life, virtue is essential. Alongside this, we need practical wisdom to guide our actions, and moral strength to ensure our decisions are ethically sound. Practical wisdom enables us to act, while moral strength ensures we act correctly.

On an internal level, virtues, practical wisdom, and moral strength are crucial. On the external side, there are two aspects. Firstly, we require material comforts. Studies suggest that an income of around $70,000 can cover the basic amenities of life, providing what we might term ‘material possessions’. Secondly, we need social connections. As Aristotle suggested, we are inherently “political animals”, not necessarily in the sense of being involved in politics, but in the sense that we naturally belong to groups. Our nature dictates that we interact; we cannot live without it.

Speaking of social connections, there are three types of friendships per Aristotle. The first is the “pleasure friendship“, based purely on deriving joy. The second is the “utility friendship“, where the relationship is based on mutual benefit. Lastly, there is the “virtue friendship“, the pinnacle of friendships. In this, friends share mutual values and support each other unconditionally.

Bringing all these elements together – the internal factors of virtue, practical wisdom, and moral strength, and the external factors of material comfort and social connections (particularly friendships based on virtues) – we approach Aristotle’s definition of ‘happiness’ or a ‘flourishing life’, which he saw as the ultimate purpose of existence.

Moving on, a pressing question arises: Why are so many in developed countries, who seemingly possess all basic amenities and luxuries, still not content or happy? This is a profound inquiry that requires deep reflection. In the present day, most people have access to luxuries that only kings and rulers possessed just two centuries ago. The modern individual has shelter, clean air, an abundance of food, and a loving family. Moreover, we have unparalleled access to information and entertainment through the internet and streaming services. These are luxuries that are freely available or come at minimal cost. With such vast resources at our fingertips, why then does contentment elude so many?

So, the crucial question we face is: when all basic amenities are taken care of, why aren’t we happy? Before delving into that, let’s discuss two theories.

The first theory is Abraham Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. This five-tier model of human needs is often depicted as a pyramid. From the base upwards, the layers are:

• Physiological Needs: These are basic requirements like food, water, and shelter. In the developed world, the majority can comfortably tick this box.
• Safety Needs: This encompasses security, protection, stability, and freedom from fear. In civilized, developed countries, the state largely ensures this, so for many, this box is also checked.
• Love and Belongingness Needs: This involves friendship, intimacy, trust, acceptance, and both giving and receiving affection. These emotional requirements don’t come with a price tag, so theoretically, they should be within everyone’s reach. If these needs aren’t met, it could be a significant factor in one’s unhappiness.
• Esteem Needs: Here, we delve into aspects like self-esteem, achievement, mastery, independence, status, and prestige. These are more psychological than physical. Once foundational needs are addressed, individuals naturally seek fulfillment in these areas. If these aren’t satisfied, it can lead to feelings of inadequacy or unhappiness.
• Self-Actualization Needs: This is about realizing one’s potential, personal growth, and peak experiences. While it’s rare for people to fully attain this level, achieving self-actualization isn’t a requirement for general happiness.

Having explored this hierarchy, the lingering question is, given that many of these needs are met for most people in developed countries, why does contentment still elude many?

The original hierarchy of needs theory was later revised by Clayton Alderfer, resulting in the ERG theory, which categorizes needs into three primary categories. This simplification makes it more concise and easier to understand.

• Existence Needs: These align with Maslow’s physiological and safety needs. They encompass our basic material requirements for survival, such as food, water, shelter, and safety. In the context of developed societies, these needs are typically satisfied, allowing us to check off this category with relative ease.
• Relatedness Needs: These correlate with Maslow’s love, belongingness, and the lower portion of his esteem needs. They focus on our interpersonal relationships and how we connect with others. Given that we are inherently social beings, we do not thrive in isolation. Our genuine happiness often emerges when we bond with our loved ones. Thus, fulfilling these relatedness needs is crucial for our overall well-being and contentment.
• Growth Needs: This category resonates with Maslow’s self-actualization. It speaks to an individual’s intrinsic desire for personal development. This includes the need to be creative, productive, and partake in meaningful endeavors. While our existence and relatedness needs might be met, it’s imperative to also focus on our growth needs. Continual personal growth and engagement in meaningful tasks are vital for achieving true happiness.

Returning to the earlier question: Why, despite having access to the luxuries of the modern world, are we not content? The answer is intricately tied to the very structure of our society. While society fulfills our safety and relatedness needs by providing basic amenities and luxuries, it also grants us a significant virtue – freedom. Freedom, however, is a double-edged sword.

With freedom comes the ability to make choices. We can choose good, but we also have the liberty to choose harm. We can influence others and, in turn, be influenced. For some, the drive to satisfy their existence needs pushes them to amass wealth, often by selling products or ideas that may not necessarily benefit the consumer. This can include things that are detrimental to one’s health or long-term well-being – from social media platforms that can alter brain chemistry to fast foods that can upset one’s health balance.

These products and services, though potentially harmful, are justified by their providers. The onus is placed on the individual – if you believe it’s not good, don’t consume it. This brings me to a crucial point: happiness is fundamentally an issue of self-control. It’s not about what’s available or who’s trying to influence us; it’s about our ability to navigate these options with discernment.

Lack of happiness stems from a deficiency in self-control. If we can harness this control, we can sidestep the negatives of modern society. By doing so, we protect ourselves from the detrimental aspects of the freedoms associated with the modern world.

With our existence needs met, by resisting societal pitfalls, we can then focus on nurturing our relatedness needs – strengthening our connections with family, friends, and colleagues. Furthermore, with the distractions minimized, we have more time and energy to invest in our growth needs, seeking personal development, engaging in meaningful tasks, and discovering purpose in our lives, rather than falling prey to the distractions of the contemporary world.

In conclusion, after delving into the very nature and definition of happiness, from Maslow’s hierarchy of needs to Clayton’s ERG theory, it becomes evident that the core of happiness lies in self-control. Essentially, happiness is the ability to say “yes” to the positive facets of freedom while firmly saying “no” to its negative connotations.

This concept implies a certain paradox. By exercising self-control, we might feel as though we’re limiting our freedom. In our contemporary society, the state doesn’t mandate this restraint. Instead, the onus is on the individual not to be ensnared by the temptations of the modern world – be it excessive social media usage, indulging in junk food, or succumbing to other commercial gimmicks.

For true contentment, we must, in a way, curtail the very freedom presented to us. We need to exercise self-control in choosing what benefits us and avoiding what harms us. Starting with the basics, like consuming clean, organic foods, our body will resonate with gratitude. Similarly, by filtering out excessive digital stimuli, our minds can focus on personal growth and knowledge acquisition. This positive cycle strengthens our self-control even more.

Personally, I’ve achieved a degree of contentment in my life by mastering certain aspects of self-control. I’ve successfully limited unnecessary technological distractions and maintained a regular exercise regimen. The only remaining challenge for me is to consistently choose healthy foods. I’m confident that mastering this domain will lead me closer to true happiness. I believe that by addressing and understanding our individual self-control challenges, whether they relate to health, societal influences, or technological lures, we can all journey towards a more fulfilling life.